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The Midget Empire was a non-sovereign British micronation active in a school between 2002-2006, similar in many ways to an earlier micronation set in the same school, the Kingdom of Rushymia.

The reason for the Midget Empire's name is lost in the oblivion of antiquity, but there are two main theories. One is that it was named as such because its founders knew that it was not going to be very big. The other is that it was named after a game called "Midget Attack," in which pupils would hop about like frogs and chase one another.

The Midget Empire was refounded into the Midget Nation-in-Exile on 30 December 2009.


The Midget Empire was set in the KS2 playground of a UK primary school. As in any school, the pupils were in different friendship and social groups usually led by the most popular, which were always termed "gangs" by the Midget Empire regardless of structure.

Teachers were seen as having absolute authority over pupils, with Dinnerladys (see below) being viewed as their representatives in the playground.


There was no constitution or even many written records of the running of the Midget Empire. It was designed to be a military dictatorship (more specifically a stratocracy) under the Midget Master, with various sections of the Midget Army being led by different commanders. The Midget Empire shared certain characteristics with an absolute monarchy towards its end, as after "conquering the playground" it became slightly less militaristic, and Midget Master Jonathan decreed that the position of Midget Master would be hereditary - however, this rule of succession only lasted one transition, as the succeeding two Midget Masters were unrelated, and were simply proclaimed Midget Master by the Midget Army.

List of Midget Masters[]


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A very rough map of the playground (is upside-down compared to the sattelite imagery to the right).

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A sattelite photograph of the playground.

Midget Base[]

The Midget Base was the capital of the Midget Empire. The Midget Empire had no territory outside the Midget Base (except for the Watchpost) until April 2003. The Midget Base had very dusty ground which was to the Midget Army's advantage, as they would often throw handfulls of dust at attackers such as the Invaders and New And Improved Midgets. The Midget Base was continuously held by the Midget Army except for a day in April 2006 when it was temporarily occupied by the Midget Hunters.

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The Midget Base, capital of the Midget Empire.

Music Hut[]

The Music Hut, also known as the Studio, was a green building in the playground used for music lessons. Although locked during break and lunch time, it had a ramp leading up to the door known as the Watchpost, which was used by the Midget Army as a vantage point to view the playground. There was also a passageway leading behind the Music Hut (sometimes known as Fox Run) which connected the Midget Base to the Rebel Base, which although forbidden by the Dinnerladys to use, often was by the Midget Army.

Rebel Base[]

The Rebel Base, also known as the Rebel Side, was an area the same as the Midget Base, on the other side of the Music Hut. It was named as such because it was used as the New And Improved Midget's base, and then by the Push Bench Gang, both of which were seen as rebelling against the authority of the Midget Empire. The Rebel Base contained a bench, often used by the Push Bench Gang in the game that gave them their name. It was fought over numerous times by the Midget Army, the New And Improved Midgets, the Word Life Gang, the Push Bench Gang and the Girly Gang over 2003-4.

The Wild Part[]

The Wild Part was a fenced off area overgrown by trees and brambles.

The Line[]

The Line was the area in which the various Years would line up to go in and eat lunch. The Midget Army helped keep order in the Line and punish those who pushed in from February 2005 onwards.

Lower Playground[]

The Lower Playground was the area in between the Midget Base and the Football Pitch, and acted as a buffer zone between the two great powers. It was controlled by the Midget Empire from 2005 onwards.

Football Pitch[]

The Football Pitch had been controlled by the Footballers since the opening of the school, and probably still is. The Midget Army never attacked the Football Pitch (although invasion parties sometimes crossed over the land).

Upper Playground[]

The Upper Playground was the largest area of the playground. From September 2002 until April 2006 it was controlled by either the Skipping Rope Gang or an unknown Yr. 5 group. By May 2006 it had been conquered by Midget Master Jonathan.

Patioed Pathway[]

The Patioed Pathway was a large slice of the playground between the Line and the Quiet Area. Up until June 2005 (when conquered by the Midget Empire) it was controlled by various groups, including the Skipping Rope Gang, Footballers, and Yr. 4s and 5s.

Quiet Area Pathway[]

The Quiet Area Pathway was a continuation of the Patioed Pathway, that ran past the Quiet Area. It was controlled by the Skipping Rope Gang until April 2006, when conquered by Thomas and a Midget Army force.

Quiet Area[]

The Quiet Area was a large area of the playground, on the other side from the Midget Base. It was controlled by the Quietarians until April 2006, when they became a protectorate of the Midget Empire and helped to defeat the Midget Hunters. The Quiet Area was very easily defended as it was surrounded by walls and rather high up, overlooking the rest of the playground. This led to Midget Master Daniel, and later Thomas, wanting to conquer it for use as a base, but due to its distance from the Midget Base and easy defense no invasion succeeded. After April 2006, the Quiet Area became the de facto capital of the Midget Empire, replacing the Midget Base in all but name.



Daniel was the first Midget Master, and led the Midget Empire throughout 2002-4. He abdicated in September 2004.


Jonathan was the second Midget Master, from 2004-6. He had to share effective power over the Midget Army with Gregory and Thomas, due to them often having better command over the soldiers.


Gregory was a high-ranking commander under Daniel and Jonathan, and from September 2005 shared effective power over the Midget Army with Jonathan and Thomas.


Thomas joined the Midget Empire in 2004, and quickly became a commander. During 2005 he managed to seize command over the Midget Army and eventually formed a triumverate with Midget Master Jonathan and Gregory, each holding equal power over the Empire.

On 4 February 2010, he was appointed Midget Master by Midget Master Caroline III, and instantly had his title changed to Midget Fuhrer Thomas IV ("Fuhrer" being used in the context of "Leader", not as a specifically Nazi or fascist title).


Caroline joined the Midget Empire in September 2005. She was involved in the conquest of the Patioed Pathway. In July 2006, she was chosen as the successor to Midget Master Jonathan on the basis of hereditary succession - it was believed that if a senior military official became Midget Master instead, it could lead to civil war as nearly every Commander wanted to get the position. Midget Master Caroline never even issued an order as Midget Master while she was at the school - the Midget Empire literally fell apart under her "rule", although she did found the Midget Nation-in-Exile three and a half years later.


The Midget Empire categorised the other pupils in the school into "gangs" based on social/friendship groups.

Midget Army[]

The Midget Army was what the members of the Midget Empire called themselves. They were founded in September 2002, with Midget Master Daniel being leader, Gregory being 2nd in command and Jonathan being 3rd. There were more than seven members at all times, and usually more like thirty; in the last few months of the Midget Empire's imperium, there were about 70. Two years after the Midget Empire started, Midget Master Daniel left his position and gave it to Jonathan, who became the second Midget Master. While Midget Master Jonathan was brilliant at devising strategies and attack plans, the Midget Army often listened more to Gregory (although Midget Master Jonathan was usually pulling the strings behind the scenes). The Midget Army at first had to fight for its own existence against a gang known as the Invaders, then after a civil war helped their allies the Word Life Gang to defeat two gangs of girls that were enroaching upon their territory. After Midget Master Jonathan took command, the "border" of the Midget Empire was stabilised, and the Midget Army's goal became expansion. This was eventually achieved, and less than a month before the leaders left for high school the entire Playground was under the control or suzerainty of the Midget Empire.


The Invaders were a gang of girls from the year above the Midget Army, who during the first year of the Midget Empire would invade the Midget Base. This resulted in a long war between the Invaders and Midget Army, who would often throw dust from the Midget Base at the Invaders to drive them out. The Invaders also fought the New And Improved Midgets and the Word Life Gang, but seemingly disbanded sometime in the second year of the Midget Empire.

New And Improved Midgets[]

The New And Improved Midgets were a break-away gang from the Midget Army, led by Charlie and Mitchell. Roughly half of the Midget Army deserted to the New And Improved Midgets in March 2003, who claimed the Midget Empire as their own. This started the Midget Civil War, which was eventually won by Midget Master Daniel's forces. The New And Improved Midgets would use pencils as melee weapons, but the Midget Army used dust from the ground as ranged weapons, which soon defeated the New And Improved Midgets. Charlie promised to never again attack the Midget Empire, and the defeated New And Improved Midgets were allowed to retreat after their pencil weapons were broken.

Push Bench Gang[]

The Push Bench Gang was a gang of mostly girls who inhabited the New And Improved Midgets' territory in April 2003, which Midget Master Daniel claimed should belong to the Midget Empire. There were roughly 12 in the Push Bench Gang, and they would always play the game of standing on a bench roughly a square metre in diameter and try to push each other off whilst screaming hysterically. Jonathan and Gregory were sent to remove the Push Bench Gang, but the Gang refused and so Midget Master Daniel ordered Jonathan to prepare an invasion force. Jonathan went to the Word Life Gang and requested an alliance against the Push Bench Gang, which they accepted. The combined forces of the Midget Army and Word Life Gang successfully invaded and conquered the territory of the Push Bench Gang, using an attack plan of Jonathan's. The defeated Push Bench Gang then merged with the Skipping Rope Gang, Girly Gang, and Quietarians. Their former territory was shared between the Midget Empire and Word Life Gang.

Word Life Gang[]

The Word Life Gang was founded after the New And Improved Midgets had been defeated, to continue the Midget Civil War. It was originally led by Mitchell, but then Jack took over the gang and declared that they wouldn't fight the Midgets, but instead attempt to get their own territory back from the Push Bench Gang. The Word Life Gang was roughly the same size as the Midget Army, but rarely actually fought, prefering to use intimidation tactics in battles. The Word Life Gang allied with the Midget Army against the Push Bench Gang in April 2003, against the Quietarians and finally against the Girly Gang in May 2004. After finally defeating the Girly Gang (their archenemies) with the help of the Midget Army, the Word Life Gang joined the Footballers, leaving all of their territory to the Midget Empire.

Girly Gang[]

The Girly Gang was mostly from the Skipping Rope Gang, but also contained members of the former Push Bench Gang. Some Yr. 5s took over some of the Skipping Rope Gang's territory in May 2003, and so the Girly Gang left that area and tried to settle in the former territory of the New And Improved Midgets and Push Bench Gang. They engaged in a war with the Word Life Gang, which at first the Midget Army was not involved in. However, the Girly Gang attacked the Midget Base only a few minutes after the Word Life Gang sent a request for help, and so Midget Master Daniel declared war on them. The Midget Empire's and Word Life Gang's war against the Girly Gang lasted roughly a year before the final battle. This took place in a park during a school trip where everyone had stopped for lunch. The Word Life Gang attacked the Girly Gang, but were driven back. The Midget Army helped the Word Life Gang and defeated the Girly Gang, once again with an attack plan from Jonathan. The defeated Girly Gang joined with the Skipping Rope Gang and left their territory to be shared between the victorious Midget Empire and Word Life Gang.

Skipping Rope Gang[]

The Skipping Rope Gang, in September 2002, had a large territory in between the Footballers and Quietarians. In May 2003 a lot of this land was taken over by Yr. 5s. This land stayed out of the Skipping Rope Gang's control until February 2005, when some Yr. 4s pushed out a lot of the Yr. 5s, meaning that the Skipping Rope Gang could retake a lot of their former territory. In June 2005, Midget Master Jonathan went with Thomas to lead an attack on some of the Skipping Rope Gang's territory. While the attack itself was a failure, the attempt greatly increased the Midget Empire's size, as a lot of land had been taken to forge a route to the Skipping Rope Gang. In April 2006, the Skipping Rope Gang's land was greatly reduced as Thomas led a successful invasion force against some of their territory at the same time that some Yr. 4s and 6s took over some of their land. In May 2006, Midget Master Jonathan personally conquered the remainder of the Skipping Rope Gang.


The Footballers were the only large gang to never be conquered by the Midget Empire. They were by far the strongest gang, being comprised of the most athletic boys from each Year. The Midget Army always strived to keep good relations with the Footballers, as invasion forces often had to cross over the Footballer's territory in order to get to the Quiet Area or the Skipping Rope Gang's territory. The Footballers play a perpetual game of football, of which the score nobody can remember. They are ruled by two Captains, a Referee, and the owner of the ball. In June 2006, Midget Master Jonathan managed to get himself as one Captain and Thomas as the other. They convinced the Referee and also the owner of the ball (both former members of the Word Life Gang) to declare an eternal alliance with the Midget Empire.


The Quietarians were the gang (comprised of many different years) that inhabited the Quiet Area, an easily defended area on the other side of the playground from the Midget Base. They were in charge of the Quiet Area from time immemorial till April 2006, when Gregory convinced them to become a protectorate of the Midget Empire. Almost immediately after this agreement was made, the Quietarians helped the Midget Army to defeat the Midget Hunters, and thus quite possibly saved the whole Midget Empire. In early May 2006, there was a Quietarian rebellion against Midget rule. The Quietarians threw sticks and stones at the heads of the Midget Army soldiers, but Midget Master Jonathan ordered the soldiers to tie their jumpers over their heads to act as helmets. By doing this, the outnumbered Quiet Area Midget garrison was able to defend itself until Thomas arrived with reinforcements and helped to defeat the rebels.

Midget Hunters[]

The Midget Hunters were a huge group of mainly Yr.4s and 5s who launched a large attack on the Midget Empire in late April 2006. Since it was warm weather, the Dinnerladys let the pupils go up onto the field, leaving the playground virtually deserted. Most of the Midget Army were with Thomas on the field, and Midget Master Jonathan was left with two Midget Army soldiers from Yr. 5 defending the Midget Empire on the playground. The Midget Hunters launched an attack from the field against the Midget Empire, 8-10 of them against Midget Master Jonathan and the two Yr. 5s. The Midget Hunters overwhelmed the Midget Army, which retreated to the Rebel Base. The Midget Hunters then occupied the Midget Base. Meanwhile, the Midget Hunters and allied gangs were engaged in a massive battle against the Midget Army and some Yr. 6 allies up on the field. Midget Master Jonathan escaped the battle in the Midget Base to inform Thomas that the Midget Base was under attack and asked for reinforcements. Thomas couldn't spare any and was being slowly defeated. The Midget Hunters were defeating the Midget Army and had occupied the Midget Base. They tried to capture Midget Master Jonathan, but he outran them and got to the Quiet Area, where Gregory had gone before the battle started to try and make an alliance with the Quietarians. The Quietarians attacked and defeated the 15 or so (reinforcements had been sent from the field) Midget Hunters occupying the Midget Base with the help of the defeated Yr. 5 Midget Army soliders hiding in the nearby Rebel Base. The defeated Midget Hunters then joined with the Quietarians and Midget Master Jonathan's force in attacking the Midget Hunters on the field that were defeating Thomas's army. After the largest battle in Midget history, the Midget Army and their allies won, and the Midget Hunters disbanded.


The Infants was the collective term given to all KS1 pupils in the school: Reception Yr., Yr. 1 and Yr. 2. They had a different playground from KS2, and so never directly encountered the Midget Empire. However, in Midget Master Jonathan's last days at the school he sent a force of elite Midget Army soldiers to sneak through the school (when all pupils were supposed to be in the playground) to the Infant's playground, and spread information about the Midget Empire. The Infants were told by the Midget Army force all about the Midget Army, and in the impressionable and imaginative minds of 4-7 year olds it was not long before the whole of the Infants was abuzz with rumours of a mighty Empire in the Juniors Playground, ruled over by the almighty Midget Master Jonathan. The last of the Infants will leave the school in 2012, after which there will be no pupil left that has encountered the Midget Empire. However, many of the members of staff remember the Midget Empire, and no doubt rumours have been spread by the older years, meaning that some memory of the Midget Empire will most likely remain for a long time afterwards.


The Dinnerladys [sic] (or "Playground Supervisors" as the majority of them should correctly be called) was the name given to the members of staff that served the school lunches and supervised the children during the lunch break. They were seen by all the pupils as having massive authority, and were disobeyed by only a rare few.



The reasons for the founding of the Midget Empire are long lost, but what is known is that it was founded on either the 2nd or 9th September 2002 with Midget Master Daniel in charge, Gregory 2nd in command and Jonathan 3rd in command. The Midget Army based themselves in a corner of the playground that they called the Midget Base.


During the first year of the Midget Empire, the Midget Base often came under attack by a group of girls in the Year above the Midget Army, known as the Invaders. They used to inhabit the Midget Base in the year before the Midget Army had moved in to KS2, but because they resorted to hostile means to get their land back any compromise with them was ruled out by Midget Master Daniel. All Invader attacks were successfully repulsed by the Midget Army, using dust from the ground as a ranged weapon. The need to defend against frequent attacks by the Invaders in its first year was one of the main causes for the militarism of the Midget Empire.

The Midget Civil War[]

In March 2003, a leadership dispute broke out in the Midget Army. Two factions emerged - one supporting Midget Master Daniel, Gregory and Jonathan, and the other supporting two commanders called Charlie and Mitchell. The rebelling faction proclaimed Charlie the Midget Master, but after a short battle were driven out of the Midget Base into the Rebel Base. Midget Master Charlie then proclaimed his faction the New And Improved Midgets, claimed the Midget Empire as his own and declared war on the Midget Army. Mitchell, Charlie's second in command, gave out pencils among the New And Improved Midgets to use as weapons. Jonathan found this out through spying on them and reported it to Midget Master Daniel, who decided on a pre-emptive strike. Midget Master Daniel, Gregory and Jonathan personally lead the force of roughly 4 other Midget Army members against the 8 or so New And Improved Midget members. The attack began, with the Midget Army soldiers throwing fistfulls of dust from the Midget Base at the New And Improved Midgets. After the dust ran out however, they were chased back into the Midget Base by the New And Improved Midgets, were a battle was fought - dust vs. pencil. Eventually, the New And Improved Midgets started to retreat one by one as their school uniform got too dirty. Charlie and Mitchell were captured and forced to kneel before Midget Master Daniel. Their pencils were broken and buried in the dust, and were then made to promise that they recognised Daniel as the true Midget Master. Charlie then also had to promise that he would never attack the Midget Base again. They were then allowed to go.

Battle of the Push Bench Gang[]

After the New and Improved Midgets were defeated, the Push Bench Gang took over the New and Improved Midget’s land. The Push Bench gang had a strange ritual of all of them (about 11 or 12) standing on a small bench about a square metre in size, trying to push each other off and screaming hysterically! As the conquerors of the New and Improved Midgets, Midget Master Daniel claimed their land for the Midget Empire. However, also with a claim to this land was the Word Life Gang.

This was a large gang formed by Mitchell to continue the Midget Civil War. Before any hostilities could be started, a boy called Jack took over from Mitchell in a rebellion and requested an alliance with the Midget Army. They accepted and made a deal; the two gangs would work together to defeat the Push Bench Gang, and then would share the territory.

In April 2003, Jonathan was put in charge of the invasion force by Midget Master Daniel. After ensuring that he had as many soldiers as possible, Jonathan told the assembled Word Life Gang and Midget Army his attack plan.

The Push Bench Gang were, as usual, screaming while trying to push each other off of a small bench. Jack and most of the Midget Army charged from the Line into the Rebel Base to attack the Push Bench Gang, shouting a war cry of "Midget Ataaaaacck!" On hearing this, Jonathan ran out from behind the Music Hut along with the Word Life Gang and the rest of the Midget Army. The allies surrounded the Push Bench Gang, who surrendered and left, defeated. The passageway behind the Music Hut, as well as the half of the Rebel Base closest to it, was given to the Midget Empire while the Word Life Gang took the half of the Rebel Base that was closest to the Lower Playground.

Invasion of the Quiet Area[]

In October 2003, Midget Master Daniel ordered Jonathan to conquer the Quiet Area, to use as a new base. Jonathan enlisted the help of the Word Life Gang and organised an invasion. Jack, along with some of the Word Life Gang and most of the Midget Army, travelled to the Quiet Area Pathway with handfulls of dust from the Midget Base. Likewise, Jonathan with most of the Word Life Gang and some of the Midget Army travelled to the entrance of the Quiet Area, also with fistfulls of dust to use. When he was sure that Jonathan's force had got into place, Jack and his force began to scale the walls of the Quiet Area. They then leapt over the side and began to attack the Quietarians. When Jonathan saw this, he lead the charge into the Quiet Are and helped them. A short battle ensued, with the dust fast running out and the allies then resorting to intimidation tactics. The allies were outnumbered roughly 2/3, and this was made worse when a group of Yr. 6s arrived to help the Quietarians. Jack sounded the retreat, and the allied armies stopped fighting and left peacefully.

First Boys v. Girls War[]

In May 2003, just after the Midget Army and Word Life Gang had successfully defeated the Push Bench Gang, a gang of Yr. 5s took over a large area of the Skipping Rope Gang's land. The Girly Gang was a group of girls formerly from the Skipping Rope Gang who now had nowhere to play, and so they intruded on the Word Life Gang's territory. The Word Life Gang engaged in a long war with the Girly Gang. At first the Midget Army weren't involved, but the Girly Gang attacked the Midget Base mere minutes after a request for help from the Word Life Gang had arrived, resulting in Midget Master Daniel declaring war against the Girly Gang. Although the war started with numerous battles in the Lower Playground, after a few months it began to stagnate, with only minor skirmishes happening now and then.

On 15 March 2004, the whole of Yr. 4 (in which the Word Life Gang, Girly Gang, and the majority of the Midget Army were) went on a school trip, and stopped for lunch at a park. The Word Life Gang saw this as a fantastic oppurtunity for a final battle, and informed the Midget Army that they wanted to "defeat the Girly Gang, here, once and for all!"

While the Midget Army was preparing, the Word Life Gang immediately charged into combat against the Girly Gang, using sticks as sword. Rather foolishly, they did this near to the teachers and so a lot of the Word Life Gang had to stay with them and the pupils that were finishing their packed lunches while the Midget Army, Girly Gang, and remainder of the Word Life Gang went off to "play nicely".

The shrunken Word Life Gang helped the Midget Army to fortify their natural position and build a base amongst some bushes under the direction of Jonathan. While the Midget Army finished building the base and Jonathan discussed the battle plan with Jack, the Word Life Gang engaged in running battles with the Girly Gang under the command of Jack's leiutenant, Kyle. With about a third of its members detained by the teachers, the Word Life Gang were soon losing the battle, and Kyle sounded the retreat.

As the Word Life Gang ran back towards the trees and the Allied Base, Jonathan led a charge of the Midget Army against the Girly Gang as to cover the Word Life Gang's hiding place amongst the trees and switch the Girly Gang's attention to them. With the Girly Gang now focused on the Midget Army, Jack ordered Kyle and the other defeated members of the Word Life Gang to set up an ambush...

The Midget Army were outnumbered on their own, and Jonathan ordered a tactical retreat towards the Base so that the allies could fight the Girly Gang together. The Midget Army outran the Girly Gang and manned the Base although there was no sign of the Word Life Gang, who were supposed to be there. The Midget Army employed full use of the defensive capabilities of the Base, setting traps and with some soldiers even resorting to throwing mud. Just as the Girly Gang broke through the Base's fence of branches the Word Life Gang emerged from the trees and encircled the Girly Gang. They started to fight back, but then the rest of the Word Life Gang charged over a hill towards the battle in the trees - the teachers had let them go. The Girly Gang surrendered.

They promised to give to the Word Life Gang all of their territory that had once been inhabited by the New And Improved Midgets or Push Bench Gang, and to give to the Midget Empire the half of their territory in the Lower Playground closest to the Midget Base. Their leader then promised to never again attack the Midget Empire or Word Life Gang, and the Girly Gang was allowed to retreat.

Leadership Changes[]

In September 2004, the Midget Empire was starting its third year. Midget Master Daniel decided to abdicate, and Jonathan became the new Midget Master. The first decision of Midget Master Jonathan was to roughly regulate the leadership system. The Midget Empire's land would be divided into provinces (Midget Base, Rebel Base, Lower Playground etc). Each would have a commander and a garrison, answerable to the Midget Master - who had absolute power. All of this was already in Midget Master Daniel's Midget Empire, but Midget Master Jonathan made the system official. Midget Master Jonathan commanded the Midget Base while Gregory commanded the Rebel Side.


In February 2005, the Midget Army had become very popular. A lot of pupils were joining and Midget Master Jonathan decided that the Midget Empire had to expand so as to avoid overcrowding and make the Midget Army look even better. More land would also mean more provinces, which meant more commanders - new recruits would be able to choose their commanders. The new recruits conquered with ease under Midget Master Jonathan the Lower Playground and Line. After a period during which the main efforts of the Midget Army were to defend the borders and keep order inside the Midget Empire, another rush of volunteers started. So, in June 2005 Midget Master Jonathan led an attack along with Thomas, a newly recruited commander, on the Patioed Pathway. The ultimate objective was to conquer the Quiet Area Pathway, territory of the Skipping Rope Gang. The attack of the Quiet Area Pathway failed, but overall the campaign was a success - the Patioed Pathway became a province of the Midget Empire, with Thomas being its commander.

First Coup[]

In late June 2005, Thomas persuaded the Midget Army to switch allegiance, to him. He then most likely could have overthrown Midget Master Jonathan, but decided not to. Midget Master Jonathan partially reasserted his authority with the help of former Midget Master Daniel, but realised that if he wanted to avoid another Midget Civil War he would have to let Thomas have an equal say in running the Midget Empire.

Second Boys v. Girls War[]

On 20 August 2005, a summer party was held at Midget Master Jonathan's house (now known as the Austenasian Imperial Residence). A lot of members of the Midget Army had been invited, and they started to do training missions, using the garden and running around the house. Gregory suggested that the Midget Army invade the room of Midget Master Jonathan's sister, Caroline (now known as HIH Princess Caroline of Austenasia), to assert the Midget Empire's authority. Despite Midget Master Jonathan's initial protests, the minds of the Midget Army were made up, especially when toy guns and swords were found.

Midget Master Jonathan knew that an invasion of Caroline's room would take place whether he wanted it to or not, and he reasoned that an invasion under his control was better than one outside his control - he'd get blamed for it whoever led it, so he may as well try to make sure nobody got hurt. Gregory took control of the Midget Army and led the attack against Caroline's room, but soon gave up when Caroline and her guest resisted the invasion. Midget Master Jonathan somehow got the blame for the initial attack's failure, and so led the second attack against Caroline's room. The door was forced open, Caroline was taken back to the Base (Midget Master Jonathan's room) as a hostage and Caroline's guest surrendered to the Midget Empire.

Caroline escaped the Base before she could be made to surrender. She then fortified her room, and Midget Master Jonathan led the attack to recapture her and reassert the authority of the Midget Empire over the whole top floor. The girls were at first defeated, but then managed to repel the attack. The Midget Army took a "hostage" (a Barbie doll) and tried to get back to the Base while Caroline tried to stop them. Just then, Midget Master Jonathan's dad (the future Emperor Terry of Austenasia) came up the stairs after hearing the shouting. He told the Midget Army to give back the hostage Barbie doll, and both groups to stop fighting each other.

All of the war so far had been filmed by a Midget Army soldier called Alex. Some of the Midget Army soldiers began playing about with the camera and Midget Master Jonathan handed out some sweets to further distract interest in the invasions, which was temporarily lost until Gregory tried to force open Caroline's door again. The attack failed, and Caroline went into the Base. Gregory led a counter-attack, forcing back Caroline and seizing another Barbie and some toy rings, but his brother called for a withdrawal from the room as he didn't want the Midget Army to get in trouble again.

Instead of fighting, insults were exchanged between the two groups ("the little smelly girls", "Caroline the crazy monkey", "son of a toilet"). The two girls then went downstairs, and Gregory led the Midget Army in persuit. The girls sat down with the adults, so Gregory's forces couldn't capture them. Instead, they started arguing about who should be allowed to use the camera.

In order to reunite the arguing Midget Army, Midget Master Jonathan organised a half-hearted attack on Caroline's room (the girls had gone back upstairs). The attack failed and Caroline attacked the Base, taking back the hostage Barbie and stealing a toy shield. There was then a battle on the landing, which resulted in both Caroline and Midget Master Jonathan faking injury as to avoid being blamed. Both sides retreated, and Midget Master Jonathan forbade any further attack on Caroline's room - Gregory used this as an excuse to blame the poor military results on Midget Master Jonathan.

Second Coup[]

The final year of the Midget Empire started in September 2005. Thomas managed to take over the area of the playground where the water fountains were with the help of Gregory, and together they decided to overthrow Midget Master Jonathan. Thomas had a loyal force of Yr. 3s and 5s, and Gregory was popular among the whole Midget Army, who saw him as a war hero from the Second Boys v. Girls War (the failure of which was popularly blamed on Midget Master Jonathan). Gregory and Thomas personally captured Midget Master Jonathan and held him prisoner in the Midget Base, but he was freed by some loyal Yr. 5 Midget Army soldiers. The Midget Empire was teetering on the verge of civil war, and once again Midget Master Jonathan realised that the only way to avert this was to grant equal power to both Gregory and Thomas. All three of them were thus in a triumvirate governing the Midget Empire.

The War of the Midget Hunters[]

(see "Midget Hunters" above)

War of Mushchamp Alley[]

In April 2006, various members of the Midget Army started using a nearby alleyway as a shortcut on their way home from school. The alley ran past an entrance to another nearby school, Muschamp Primary. When some Muschampers challenged the right of pupils from Rushy Meadow to use "their" alleyway, the Midget Army members amongst them forced their way past. The Muschampers challenged the Rushy Meadow pupils to a school-on-school war, which Gregory, the most senior Midget there, accepted.

The next day Gregory led a Midget Army force of 10-15 down the alleyway, the Midgets fighting on behalf of Rushy Meadow against Mushchamp. However, the Muschampers had turned out in force with an army of at least 25, and Gregory ordered a retreat after the Midgets started to lose the fighting.

The next day, Midget Master Jonathan personally led a force of 20 of the best Midget Army soldiers down the alley. The leader of the Muschampers was there with only eight Muschampers, as they believed that after yesterday's victory they had for all intents and purposes won the war. They were mistaken, and Jonathan's troops defeated them. The Midgets allowed all but the Muschampian leader to retreat, and forced him to acknowledge Midget victory and Rushy Meadow superiority over Muschamp. He then formally renounced all claim to the Muschamp Alley, and although it was not made part of the Midget Empire, Midget Master Jonathan named Gregory the Lord of Muschamp Alley, and charged him with ensuring that Rushy Meadow pupils had free access through it.

Quiet Area Rebellion[]

(see "Quietarians" above)

The Field[]

During the late spring and summer at the school, the Dinnerladys would often let the pupils go up onto a nearby field, much bigger than the playground. Thomas saw the potential of conquering new land up on the field, and led a large force of nearly half the Midget Army up there every lunch break that the field was open. A base was made on the field for the Midget Army, which was known as Atkantia Minor. There was originally a plan to build small structures out of branches, but this was abandoned after an attack by Yr. 6s (which was successfully repelled).

War of the Upper Playground and Pax Midgetana[]

By May 2006, only the Upper Playground and Football Pitch remained outside of the Midget Empire's control. Midget Master Jonathan led a force of the Midget Army to attack the Upper Playground, and after many battles and alliances the Upper Playground's gangs were either conquered or allied with the Midget Empire. So began a period of peace for the Midget Empire, and indeed for the playground. There were no more battles or wars between gangs. A very basic police force and judicial system was set up for the pupils, the Midget Army consisted of at least 70 members, and Midget Master Jonathan ruled over the mighty Midget Empire: consisting of the whole playground, except for the Football Pitch.

Alliance with the Footballers[]

(see "Footballers" above)

End of the Empire[]

Even as the "Pax Midgetana" brought order to the playground, it was clear that the peace wouldn't last. After September, Midget Master Jonathan, Gregory, Thomas, and a large amount of the Midget Army would move on to secondary school. When that truth became impossible to ignore, Midget Master Jonathan's goal simply became to make sure that the Midget Empire would be remembered for as long as possible. He sent a mission to the Infant's playground to tell them about him and the Midgets - the youngest that encountered this misson will leave the school in July 2012. Peices of paper with a brief history of the Midget Empire were hidden behind noticeboards, on top of cupboards, and even inside computer monitors.

Finally, the time came for Midget Master Jonathan to appoint a successor. There was disagreement about who should succeed him as Midget Master, as when Midget Master Daniel had stopped playing and abdicated, he had made Jonathan the Midget Master for no clear reason. Gregory favoured a continued stratocracy, as that meant that there was a good chance that his brother, a Yr. 5 Midget Commander, could become Midget Master meaning that Gregory could still influence events in the Playground even after he left. However, Midget Master Jonathan ruled this out, saying that a stratocracy was inherently unstable - there had been two coups in the space of a year. He finally named his sister, Caroline, to be the next Midget Master and declared that the Midget Empire was to be an absolute monarchy, not a stratocracy or military dictatorship. Her reign would start on the last day of July, a few days after the school had broken up for the summer holidays.

When the school came back after the 2006 summer holidays, the Midget Empire fell apart. Midget Master Caroline did not know who to order to do what, and frankly didn't really care. On top of her reluctance to run the playground was the fact that the majority of the Midget Army didn't want to follow orders from a girl in Yr. 4 - she wasn't a war hero like Gregory, a charismatic commander like Thomas, or a military genius like Midget Master Jonathan.

Nation In Exile[]

On 30 December 2009, Midget Master Caroline issued her first three decrees (five months after she had left the school herself). The title of Midget Master was confirmed as being a hereditary absolute monarch, all territorial claims of the Midget Empire were withdrawn, and the Midget Empire was renamed, to the Midget Nation-in-Exile.

On 4 February 2010, Midget Master Caroline III abdicated in favour of Thomas, who became the current pretender Midget Fuhrer Thomas IV ("Fuhrer" being used in the context of "Leader", not as a specifically Nazi or fascist title). The first Province to be controlled in three and a half years was claimed in Wrythe Public Park, the New Midget Base. The former Midget Master Jonathan II was appointed General of the New Midget Base and instructed to hire a new Midget Army to protect it, and thus to act as the Nation-in-Exile's military.

On 16 December 2010, this new Midget Army, comprised primarily of Jonathan's new recruits, declared Declan I, II & V to be their new Midget Master, but allowing Midget Fuhrer Thomas to keep power in the position of a viceroy or field marshal.